Catherine De Crignis Jan 7, 2013:

Forget the French There's no way you can make it as bad as the French! Since you understand, feel free to focus solely on the meaning. Perhaps you can't come up with anything good precisely because you're trying to 'imitate' the French, which is awful : first sentence sounds bizarre, 'agencement' is an odd choice of a word, 'de leurs' is unfortunate since it clearly refers to 'peaux sensibles' but sounds almost ambiguous since it comes just after 'qualités'. Also 'innovation' should be in the plural.

writeaway Jan 7, 2013:

requirements or needs? With regard to sensitive skins.

Lara Barnett (asker) Jan 7, 2013:

@ Writeaway Apologies for not having posted any attempts up. I do have to confess that, although I normally provide my own attempt when I ask questions, as I have explained in my question box, I understand the idea but cannot find any way of conveying this in English. I have not really got any further than literal translations of these words which are all quite easily understood, but have stumped me as a whole idea. I also believe that we should provide our own examples where we can, but short of a literal translation, which would obviously sound ridiculous, I have obviously failed in my collaborative part of the task here.

My attempts at the rest of the paragraph in any case are:

"This accomplishment represents the culmination of a series of innovations. Thanks to a minimalist formula, a well-balanced mixture of ingredients and the perfect amount of preservatives, sensitive skins will benefit from a treatment which has **had its qualities preserved without compromising its requirements**. Now they can also enjoy this unique sensorial experience."

With regard to the style/register, I am translating this (hopefully) in a promotional but upmarket way.

writeaway Jan 7, 2013:

tempting but a bit abusive of the system it's always tempting just to sit back and see what ideas others have in order to pick and choose what one wants. as this is marketing and not really a terminology issue, I have always found a one-sided effort a bit unfair since clients will be presented with clever ideas that were actually provided (blindly, hopefully) by others. what is acceptable is very arbitary and with no input from Asker, peer comments hardly matter. kudoz isn't meant to be a one-way street. in marketing, a coherent style/register are very important. so what is the style/register of the translation?

ormiston Jan 7, 2013:

hi writeaway if comprehension is not an issue it is tempting to keep your ideas up your sleeve and see what fresh one emerge!

writeaway Jan 7, 2013:

well in that case it really would be very helpful to see what Asker already has to avoid wasting time 'helping' with suggestions already rejected or that don't fit in with the rest of the text. Taking marketing ideas from people is nice but it should be a collaborative effort imo

ormiston Jan 7, 2013:

I think she would simply appreciate some help with working it nicely

writeaway Jan 7, 2013:

what is the specific problem? Just the English? This is marketing. The wording is everything. What do you have so far?