Oct 25, 2005 17:03
18 yrs ago
Russian term
Russian Federation
Trustworthy, Accurate, Efficient
Native in: Russian 
Works in: English to Russian, Russian to English, Russian
Native English speakers, check, please!
Russian to English
Other
Marketing
text for a poster
I need this short text to be translated for a poster in my friend's cafe. And of course I need it as real-american as possible. Could you please check my translation for adequacy:
Будь моя воля - я бы вообще не трудился. Работа давит. Если бы не девушки - точно не работал бы. Слишком они любят мужчин за работой.
My translation:
If I had my way, I would not have worked at all. Work is a heavy burden. If not for the girls, I definitely wouldn't have worked. But they like men at work too much.
Будь моя воля - я бы вообще не трудился. Работа давит. Если бы не девушки - точно не работал бы. Слишком они любят мужчин за работой.
My translation:
If I had my way, I would not have worked at all. Work is a heavy burden. If not for the girls, I definitely wouldn't have worked. But they like men at work too much.
Proposed translations
(English)
Proposed translations
+10
1 hr
Selected
my try
Everyone's answers are good. Here is my try:
If I had my way, I wouldn't work at all. Work is rough. I only do it for the girls. They really love working men.
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Note added at 8 hrs 34 mins (2005-10-26 01:38:42 GMT)
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Or, a little more freely, the last sentence could be "They really love a hard-working man." But that's getting too far away from the original.
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Note added at 19 hrs 5 mins (2005-10-26 12:09:06 GMT)
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OK, Mikhail, here is my idea of more zing. Last sentence: "Watching men work really turns them on." On the other hand, I do like the word "hard-working" and think it has a little zing itself, since it implies that a man who works hard at work will also work hard on the girls. I think I'll stick with "hard-working."
If I had my way, I wouldn't work at all. Work is rough. I only do it for the girls. They really love working men.
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Note added at 8 hrs 34 mins (2005-10-26 01:38:42 GMT)
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Or, a little more freely, the last sentence could be "They really love a hard-working man." But that's getting too far away from the original.
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Note added at 19 hrs 5 mins (2005-10-26 12:09:06 GMT)
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OK, Mikhail, here is my idea of more zing. Last sentence: "Watching men work really turns them on." On the other hand, I do like the word "hard-working" and think it has a little zing itself, since it implies that a man who works hard at work will also work hard on the girls. I think I'll stick with "hard-working."
Peer comment(s):
| agree |
Andrey Belousov (X)
: And a nice one too!
29 mins
|
| agree |
Svetlana Potton
53 mins
|
| agree |
Alla Tatyants
1 hr
|
| agree |
nrabate
2 hrs
|
| agree |
Rook
: generally with this version, although it sounds a bit more neutral than the Russian one. You might want to spice it up with Mikhail Kropotov's suggestion.
2 hrs
|
| agree |
Dorene Cornwell
: If it were up to me, I wouldn't work at all. Work is a drag. If it weren't for the girls, i definitely wouldn't be working, but they just love watching men at work.
2 hrs
|
| agree |
Tsogt Gombosuren
: perfect!
5 hrs
|
| agree |
koundelev
: what about "They adore busy men."
6 hrs
|
| agree |
Freimanis
13 hrs
|
| agree |
Mikhail Kropotov
: Sounds good but I would still try to give it more zing... ++ And your second version of the last sentence is not far from the original at all
15 hrs
|
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
Comment: "Thank you, James, that was really helpful."
+2
8 mins
Michael Moskowitz
Native in Russian
&
English
Translating since 1984.
Native in: English 
, Russian
Works in: Russian to English, English to Russian, Ukrainian to English, and 1 more.
Related KudoZ points
:
8
Check the tenses
I would not be working
and
I definitely wouldn't be working
and
I definitely wouldn't be working
+1
10 mins
Alexander Demyanov
Native in Russian
Software Engineering background
Native in: Russian
Works in: English, Russian, Russian to English, and 1 more.
Related KudoZ points
:
12
In 2 places, you don't need 'have worked'.
I would not work.
I wouldn't work.
Too bad I am not a NES.
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Note added at 15 mins (2005-10-25 17:18:59 GMT)
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Also, you may want to try "...they like watching men working"
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Note added at 15 mins (2005-10-25 17:19:44 GMT)
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"Men at work" is confusing, it may mean "men at their (girls') places of employment"
I wouldn't work.
Too bad I am not a NES.
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Note added at 15 mins (2005-10-25 17:18:59 GMT)
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Also, you may want to try "...they like watching men working"
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Note added at 15 mins (2005-10-25 17:19:44 GMT)
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"Men at work" is confusing, it may mean "men at their (girls') places of employment"
Peer comment(s):
| agree |
Andrey Belousov (X)
: I missed this
5 mins
|
|
Thanks Andrey!
|
10 mins
Nina Chulak
Native in Russian
&
English
professional writer and translator
Native in: English , Russian
Works in: Russian to English, English to Russian
this is what I think would work for a poster
If I had my way (or, If I could have my way), I would not work at all. Work is hard! If it wouldn't be for the girls, I definitely wouldn't work. But they like working men too much.
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Note added at 18 mins (2005-10-25 17:22:30 GMT)
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Or...
If it hadn't been for the girls, who needs work? But girls like men at work.
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Note added at 18 mins (2005-10-25 17:22:30 GMT)
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Or...
If it hadn't been for the girls, who needs work? But girls like men at work.
Peer comment(s):
| neutral |
Alexander Demyanov
: A definite improvement. However: 1) I wouldn't use 2 "wouldn't" in the 3rd sentence. 2) "Working men" is confusing.
2 mins
|
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thank you.
|
|
| neutral |
Mikhail Kropotov
: If it *weren't* for the girls
6 mins
|
|
yeah, this is probably better. thank you.
|
+2
3 mins
May I have my say?
If I had IT my way, ....
Had it not been for the girls....
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Note added at 11 mins (2005-10-25 17:15:33 GMT)
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"They like working men too much" - IMO, makes more sense
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Note added at 24 mins (2005-10-25 17:28:01 GMT)
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Also, I agree with Mikhail Kropotov:
If it weren't for the girls, I definitely wouldn't work.
Had it not been for the girls....
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Note added at 11 mins (2005-10-25 17:15:33 GMT)
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"They like working men too much" - IMO, makes more sense
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Note added at 24 mins (2005-10-25 17:28:01 GMT)
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Also, I agree with Mikhail Kropotov:
If it weren't for the girls, I definitely wouldn't work.
Peer comment(s):
| agree |
Alexander Demyanov
: 1st will definitely work. 2nd would certainly be an improvement. Too bad you are not a NES!
3 mins
|
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Thank you! :) I dont like "But they like men at work too much" either.
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| agree |
Sergei Tumanov
1 hr
|
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Thank you! :)
|
15 hrs
Freimanis
Specializes in field
Had I known it was so hard....
Had I known it was so hard, I would not have made the effor, but for the girls. Girls love working men. (this is another version of the above :-)
Discussion
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