We're accustomed to glamour in London SE26: Kelly Brook and Jason Statham used to live above the dentist. But when Anouska Hempel's heels hit the cracked cement of the parking space outside my flat, it's hard not to think of those Picture Post photographs of royalty visiting bombed-out families during the second world war. Her mission in my modest tract of suburbia is, however, about more than offering sympathy. Hempel—the woman who invented the boutique hotel before it bore any such proprietary name—has come to give me information for which, judging by the spreads in interiors magazines and anxious postings on online DIY forums, half the property-owners in the Western world seem desperate: how to give an ordinary home the look and the vibe of a five-star, £750-a-night hotel suite. To Hempelise, in this case, a modest conversion flat formed from the middle slice of a three-storey Victorian semi.
"You could do it," she says, casting an eye around my kitchen. "Anyone could do it. Absolutely no reason why not. But there has to be continuity between the rooms. A single idea must be followed through." She looks out wistfully over the fire escape. "And you'd have to buy the house next door, of course." That's a joke. I think.
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It's worth pausing, though, to consider the oddness of this impulse. The hotel room is an amnesiac space. We would be troubled if it bore any sign of a previous occupant, particularly as many of us go to hotels in order to do things we would not do at home. We expect a hotel room to be cleaned as thoroughly as if a corpse had just been hauled from the bed. (In some cases, this will actually have happened.) The domestic interior embodies the opposite idea: it is a repository of memories. The story of its inhabitants ought to be there in the photos on the mantelpiece, the pictures on the wall, the books on the shelves. If hotel rooms were people, they would be smiling lobotomy patients or plausible psychopaths. | Tumezoea umaridadi hapa London SE26: Kelly Brook na Jason Statham waliwahi kuishi juu ya daktari wa meno. Lakini wakati visigino vya viatu vya Anouska Hempel vilipokanyaga nyufa za kwenye zege la maegesho ya magari nje ya ghorofa letu, ilikuwa vigumu kutokuwazia zile picha za kwenye postikadi za watawala wakitembelea familia zilizoathiriwa na mabomu wakati wa vita kuu ya pili. Lengo lake kwenye eneo langu la kitongoji chetu cha hali ya kati, lilikuwa zaidi ya kutoa maneno ya huruma. Hempel—mwanamke ambaye alianzisha duka lenye hoteli kabla halijawa na jina maalumu la kikazi— amekuja kunipa taarifa ambazo, kwa kuangalia kurasa za kati kwenye majarida ya ndani ya nyumba na yale yanayoandikwa na washiriki wenye shauku kwenye mitandao ya kijamii ya namna ya kufanya vitu mwenyewe, nusu ya wenye nyumba kwenye ulimwengu wa magharibi wanaonekana kuwa na wasiwasi na kukata tamaa: namna ya kuipa nyumba ya kawaida muonekano na hisia za hoteli ya nyota tano, inayolipiwa £750 kwa chumba kwa usiku mmoja. Kwa Hempelise, hii ikiwa ni ubadilishwaji kidogo wa sehemu ya ghorofa ya kati kwenye jengo la ghorofa tatu la enzi za himaya ya Victoria. "Unaweza kufanya hivyo," anasema, huku akiangaza macho kwenye eneo la jiko langu. "Mtu yeyote anaweza. Hakuna sababu hata kidogo kwa nini isiwezekane. Lakini inabidi kuwepo na muendelezo kati ya vyumba. Wazo moja lazima liendelezwe hadi litimie." Anaangalia nje kupitia kwenye ngazi za kukimbia moto akiwaza. " Na itakubidi kununua pia nyumba ya jirani." Nadhani, huo ni utani zaidi. Hata hivyo, ni vema kutulia na kutafakari uajabu wa huu msukumo wa ndani. Chumba cha hoteli ni sehemu inayoweza kukukosesha usingizi. Tunaweza kukwazika kama kikiwa na dalili zozote za aliyekuwemo awali, hasa kwa sababu wengi wetu huenda hotelini ili tufanye vitu ambavyo hatuwezi kufanya nyumbani. Tunatarajia chumba cha hoteli kusafishwa kikamilifu kama vile maiti ndio kwanza ametolewa hapo kitandani. (Wakati mwingine, inawezekana ikawa hili limetokea kweli.) Sehemu ya ndani ya nyumba ya kuishi hujumuisha wazo lililo kinyume: ni sehemu inayotunza kumbukumbu. Hadithi ya waliowahi kuishi humo inafaa iwepo kwenye picha zilizopo sebuleni, picha za ukutani, vitabu kwenye rafu. Kama vyumba vya hotelini vingekuwa binadamu, vingekuwa ni wagonjwa lobotomi wanaotabasamu au vichaa wenye ahueni.
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