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1st Annual ProZ.com Translation Contest: "Awakening" » German to English

Competition in this pair is now closed.

Source text in German

Der Höhepunkt aber ist das eigentliche Hauptrennen, das zum heimlichen Ruhm der Khampa-Krieger und zur Ehre des Klosters Ganden Tubchen Chokhorling geritten wird. Am Morgen versammeln sich über einhundert Reiter vor den Mauern der Abtei. Die langen Haare sind mit roter Wolle um den Kopf geflochten. Manche von ihnen provozieren die chinesischen Autoritäten, indem sie trotz Verbots gut sichtbar das Bild des XIV. Dalai Lama bei sich tragen und mit ihren nervösen Pferden hautnah an den Ordnungshütern vorbeitänzeln. Den Lama Tense Taji, der in ihrer Mitte reitet, umkreisen sie wie ein Bienenschwarm seine Königin, so als gelte es, ihn vor Anfeindungen zu beschützen.

Erst auf sein Signal hin beginnt das Rennen. Drei Kilometer weit fordern sie von ihren Pferden höchste Leistung. Es kommt zu Massenstürzen. Die, die sich Sattel an Sattel in die vordere Reihe geschoben haben, werden vom Publikum, das die gesamte Rennstrecke säumt, frenetisch angefeuert. Der strahlende Sieger wird vom Lama höchstpersönlich beglückwünscht und erhält als Preis eines der begehrten chromblitzenden Motorräder, eine Art Harley Davidson chinesischer Bauart, die in jüngster Zeit den Nomaden das Pferd ersetzen.

Während des Festes haben die Mönche des Klosters Ganden Tubchen Chokhorling das Mandala aus Sand fertiggestellt. Es ist bunt und wunderschön geworden. Seinen Sinn, die Gottheit Yamantanka einzuladen und das Reiterfest zum Erfolg zu führen, hat sich erfüllt, denn einen Toten hat es dieses Jahr nicht gegeben.

Lama Tense Taji ist zuversichtlich, dass Kham einer Renaissance der buddhistischen Kultur entgegenblickt. Bisher wurden etwa 60 Prozent der Klöster Osttibets, wenn auch unter den strengen Augen der Chinesen, wieder aufgebaut. Der Abt hat einen klaren Geist: "Eine politische Unabhängigkeit Khams oder gar ganz Tibets halte ich für unwahrscheinlich." Der Mönch fühlt sich weniger der Politik als vielmehr der Religion verpflichtet: "Ich bin dazu berufen, die Lehre des Buddha an die Jugend weiterzugeben, solange ich lebe. "Die Klöster Khams", freut sich der Mann, "erwachen zu neuem Leben."

The winning entry has been announced in this pair.

There were 34 entries submitted in this pair during the submission phase, 7 of which were selected by peers to advance to the finals round. The winning entry was determined based on finals round voting by peers.

Competition in this pair is now closed.

Entries (34 total; 7 finalists) — Expand all entries

The highlight, however, is the main race itself, which is held as a secret glorification of the Khampa warriors and in honour of the Ganden Tubchen Chokhorling monastery. Over one hundred riders gather in front of the abbey walls in the morning. Their hair is worn in long plaits interwoven with red wool and wrapped about their heads. Some of them, as an affront to the Chinese authorities and in defiance of the ban, wear a picture of the 14th Dalai Lama in plain view. Atop their anxious mounts, moving in short, quick steps, they pass within arm’s reach of the custodians of the law. They circle Lama Tense Taji, riding in the centre, like a swarm of bees around their queen, as if to protect him from hostilities.

The race begins on his signal. They push their steeds to the limit for three kilometres. Riders fall in droves. Those, who, shoulder to shoulder, have fought their way to the front, are spurred on by wildly excited spectators who line the entire course. The incandescent victor is congratulated by the Lama personally and, as a trophy, is presented with one of the much-sought-after shiny motorcycles, a sort of Chinese Harley Davidson, which in recent times have come to replace the nomads' horses.

During the festival the monks of the Gandun Tubchen Chokhorling monastery completed the sand mandala. The result of their endeavours is brightly coloured and beautiful. Its purpose – to summon the deity Yamantaka and to bless the horse racing festival – was served, as this year did not see a single death.

Lama Tense Taji is confident that Kham is on the eve of a renaissance of Buddhist culture. Around 60 percent of east Tibetan monasteries have been rebuilt to date, albeit under the watchful eyes of the Chinese. The abbot is a man of sound mind: “I consider it unlikely that Kham, let alone Tibet as a whole, will become independent”. The monk feels less committed to politics than he does to religion. “It is my calling to impart the teachings of Buddha to the young until the end of my days.” “The Kham monasteries”, the man enthuses, “bring a new lease of life”.
Entry #7906
Winner
Voting points1st2nd3rd
7116 x43 x21 x1
Rating typeOverallQualityAccuracy
Entry3.293.31 (13 ratings)3.27 (11 ratings)
Entry tagging:
  • 10 users entered 20 "like" tags
  • 10 users agreed with "likes" (42 total agrees)
  • 1 user disagreed with "likes" (1 total disagree)
+3
held as a secret glorification of the Khampa
Good term selection
Courtney Sliwinski
as a secret glorification of the Khampa warriors
Good term selection
Diana Loos
+2
Their hair is worn in long plaits interwoven with red wool and wrapped about their heads
Flows well
Quite a ni​ce formula​tion.
Edwin Miles
+4
as an affront to the Chinese authorities and in defiance of the ban
Flows well
Nice formu​lation of ​the entire​ sentence
Courtney Sliwinski
+5
in defiance of the ban
Flows well
Nicole Y. Adams, M.A.
The race begins on his signal.
Other
Simple sen​tence, con​veys actio​n and ener​gy
Tamara Wood
+2
Riders fall in droves
Other
Original i​nterpreati​on
Courtney Sliwinski
+1
Riders fall in droves
Good term selection
Best term,​ context a​ppropriate​ in contra​st to "pil​e ups"
Tamara Wood
-1
+2
1
, have fought their way to the front
Flows well
Edwin Miles
+2
which in recent times have come to replace the nomads' horses
Flows well
Marcus Malabad
+2
The result of their endeavours
Flows well
Nice sente​nce!
Courtney Sliwinski
+1
summon the deity
Good term selection
Alice Milne
+1
was served
Good term selection
purposes a​re general​ly served ​in English​, not fulf​illed
Patrick Hubenthal
+5
Kham is on the eve of a renaissance
Flows well
Very nice ​touch here​.
Rob2031
+1
eve of a renaissance of
Flows well
Nice inter​pretation!
Courtney Sliwinski
+3
1
let alone
Flows well
Susan Welsh
+2
The monk feels less committed to politics than he does to religion
Flows well
Diana Loos
calling to impart t
Flows well
Courtney Sliwinski
+4
to impart
Good term selection
Susan Welsh
+2
enthuses
Good term selection
Courtney Sliwinski
But the climax is the main race itself, which is ridden for the secret glory of the Khampa warriors and in honor of the Ganden Tubchen Chokhorling monastery. In the morning more than one hundred riders gather in front of the walls of the abbey, their long hair braided around their heads with red wool. Some of them taunt the Chinese authorities by prominently carrying a picture of the 14th Dalai Lama and guiding their nervous horses directly before the noses of the security troops. They circle the Lama Tense Taji – who rides in their midst – like a swarm of bees trying to protect their queen from her enemies.

The race begins only after the Lama gives the signal. For three kilometers they push their horses to their limits. Whole groups of riders topple from their mounts. Those who’ve ridden saddle-to-saddle to force their way to the front row are cheered on frenetically by the crowd flanking the entire route of the race. The elated victor is congratulated by the Lama himself and is awarded a coveted chrome-encrusted motorcycle – a kind of Chinese-style Harley-Davidson, which has lately begun displacing the horse among the nomads.

During the festival, the monks of the Ganden Tubchen Chokhorling monastery have been preparing the mandala from sand; it has become an exquisite and vibrantly colored object. It has also fulfilled its purpose – to summon the deity Yamantanka and to guide the gymkhana to success – as there have been no fatalities this year.

Lama Tense Taji is convinced that Kham is experiencing a rebirth of Buddhist culture. About 60 percent of East Tibet’s monasteries have now been rebuilt, albeit under the watchful eyes of the Chinese. But the abbot remains realistic: “I think political independence is unlikely for the Kham region, and even more unlikely for all of Tibet.” The monk also feels his obligations lie much more in realm of religion than in that of politics. “My calling is to pass on the teachings of Buddha to the young, for as long as I live,” he says, adding with delight: “The monasteries of Kham are awakening to a new life.”
Entry #8093
Lori Dendy-Molz
Lori Dendy-Molz
Γερμανία
Finalist
Voting points1st2nd3rd
5210 x44 x24 x1
Rating typeOverallQualityAccuracy
Entry3.393.50 (14 ratings)3.27 (11 ratings)
Entry tagging:
  • 6 users entered 9 "like" tags
  • 10 users agreed with "likes" (26 total agrees)
  • 3 users disagreed with "likes" (5 total disagrees)
+2
by prominently carrying
Good term selection
Nicole Y. Adams, M.A.
-1
+2
1
who rides in their midst
Flows well
Nice solut​ion
Caspar Zoeftig
+1
like a swarm of bees trying to protect their queen from her enemies.
Good term selection
Courtney Sliwinski
-2
+1
1
Whole groups of riders topple from their mounts
Good term selection
Courtney Sliwinski
-2
+3
1
Whole groups of riders topple from their mounts
Flows well
Best rendi​tion in th​is languag​e pairing.
Rob2031
+5
remains realistic
Flows well
Courtney Sliwinski
+2
remains realistic
Good term selection
Craig Meulen
+4
My calling is to pass on the teachings of Buddha to the young, for as long as I live,” he says, adding with delight: “The monasteries of Kham are awakening to a new life.”
Flows well
Apart from​ the comma​ after "yo​ung", this​ is a well​-written e​nding.
Edwin Miles
But the high point is the main race itself, ridden for the secret glory of the Khampa warriors and for the honour of the Ganden Thubchen Choekhorling monastery. In the morning, more than a hundred riders, their long hair braided around their heads with red wool, gather before the abbey’s walls. Some provoke the Chinese authorities by openly carrying the image of the 14th Dalai Lama despite its being banned, and prancing with their skittish horses right past the officers’ noses. Lama Tense Taji rides in their midst and the riders swarm around him like bees around their queen, as if to ward off hostilities.

Only on his signal does the race start. For three kilometres, the riders push their steeds to the limit. There are massive pile-ups. Those who have thrust their way forward saddle-to-saddle to ride amongst the front-runners are cheered on wildly by the spectators lining the length of the track. The beaming winner is personally congratulated by the Lama. His prize? One of the coveted chrome-coruscating motorbikes, a kind of Chinese-style Harley Davidson, that have lately been replacing the horses of the nomads.

In the course of the festivities, the monks of Ganden Thubchen Choekhorling monastery have completed the sand mandala, gorgeous and richly coloured. And it has fulfilled its purpose of calling on the deity Yamantaka and making the gymkhana a success: no one has died this year.

Lama Tense Taji is confident that Kham is looking towards a renaissance in Buddhist culture. So far, some 60 percent of the monasteries in eastern Tibet have been rebuilt, albeit under the stern gaze of the Chinese. The abbot has no illusions: “Achieving political independence for Kham or the whole of Tibet seems to me unlikely.” His duties, he feels, lie more with religion than politics: “I have been called upon to pass on Buddha’s teachings to the young for as long as I am alive. Kham’s monasteries,” he says happily, “are starting to bloom again.”

Entry #7394
Edwin Miles
Edwin Miles
Γερμανία
Finalist
Voting points1st2nd3rd
518 x46 x27 x1
Rating typeOverallQualityAccuracy
Entry3.253.07 (15 ratings)3.43 (14 ratings)
Entry tagging:
  • 3 users entered 6 "like" tags
  • 7 users agreed with "likes" (13 total agrees)
  • 1 user disagreed with "likes" (1 total disagree)
-1
+6
1
skittish
Good term selection
Susan Welsh
+1
Lama Tense Taji rides in their midst and the riders swarm around him like bees around their queen, as if to ward off hostilities
Flows well
best rendi​tion (noth​ing added ​or subtrac​ted)
Marcus Malabad
+1
There are massive pile-ups
Flows well
simple
Marcus Malabad
+2
1
His prize?
Flows well
Nicely han​dled here.
Rob2031
+2
that have lately been replacing the horses of the nomads
Flows well
precise re​ndition
Marcus Malabad
+1
His duties, he feels, lie more with religion than politics
Flows well
best rendi​tion
Marcus Malabad
But the highlight is the main race itself, which is staged in honour of the Ganden Tubchen Chokhorling monastery and in covert celebration of the Khampa fighters. More than one hundred riders gather in the morning in front of the abbey walls. Their long hair is interwoven with red wool and braided around their heads. Some of them are looking to provoke the Chinese authorities by carrying the picture of the fourteenth Dalai Lama, despite the ban, so that it is clearly visible and by sidling past the marshals uncomfortably closely on their jumpy horses. They circle around the Lama Tense Taji, riding in their midst, like bees swarming around the queen bee, as if protecting him from hostile attacks.

The race starts only when he gives the signal. Over three kilometres they push their horses to the very limits. There are mass pile-ups. Those riders who have manoeuvred themselves, saddle-to-saddle, into the front row are cheered on frenetically by the public lining the whole race track. The winner of the race, beaming, is congratulated by the Lama personally and receives as his prize one of the sought-after shiny chrome motor-bikes – a sort of Chinese Harley Davidson – which in recent times has been taking the place of the nomads’ horses.

While the festival has been going on, the monks of the Ganden Tubchen Chokhorling monastery have finished making the sand mandala. It is colourful and very beautiful. It has fulfilled its purpose – to invoke the deity Yamantaka and to guide the riders’ festival to a successful conclusion – as there were no fatalities this year.

Lama Tense Taji is confident that Kham is about to experience a renaissance of Buddhist culture. About 60 percent of the monasteries in eastern Tibet have been rebuilt up to now, albeit under the stern eye of the Chinese authorities. The abbot is level-headed: “Political independence for Kham or indeed for the whole of Tibet is unlikely, in my opinion.” The monk is beholden to his religion more than to politics: “My calling is pass on the teachings of Buddha to young people for as long as I live.” And he rejoices in the “rebirth of Kham’s monasteries”.
Entry #7979
suew
suew
Ηνωμένο Βασίλειο
Finalist
Voting points1st2nd3rd
344 x47 x24 x1
Rating typeOverallQualityAccuracy
Entry3.223.25 (12 ratings)3.18 (11 ratings)
Entry tagging:
  • 6 users entered 9 "like" tags
  • 9 users agreed with "likes" (19 total agrees)
  • 2 users disagreed with "likes" (2 total disagrees)
+7
2
covert celebration of the Khampa fighters.
Good term selection
Nicely wor​ded
Courtney Sliwinski
-1
+3
1
sidling
Good term selection
Rob2031
+3
as if protecting him
Flows well
simple and​ elegant a​nd conveys​ subjuncti​ve mood of​ source
Marcus Malabad
+1
mass pile-ups
Flows well
Marcus Malabad
+3
which in recent times has been taking the place
Flows well
only entry​ to use co​rrect past​ progressi​ve
Marcus Malabad
-1
Yamantaka
Other
A little r​esearch he​lps. "Yama​ntaka" is ​the usual ​name, not ​Yamantan
Edwin Miles
level-headed
Good term selection
Alice Milne
+1
Political independence for Kham or indeed for the whole of Tibet is unlikely, in my opinion
Flows well
Alice Milne
+1
level-headed
Good term selection
Susan Welsh
But the highlight is the main race itself, in which riders vie for clandestine fame among the Khampa warriors and for the honour of Ganden Tubchen Chokhorling monastery. In the morning more than a hundred riders gather in front of the abbey's walls. Their long hair is braided about their heads with tassels of red wool. Some of the horsemen provoke the Chinese authorities by openly carrying the image of the fourteenth Dalai Lama, despite a ban on doing so, and by prancing their nervous steeds only a hair's breadth from the authorities. Like bees swarming around their queen, they circle Lama Tense Taji as he rides in their midst, in an effort to protect him from hostilities.

Only once he has given the signal does the race begin. The riders push their mounts to their limits over a three-kilometer course. There are scores of falls. Those who have worked their way saddle to saddle toward the front are cheered on frenetically by the spectators, who line the entire course. The beaming winner is congratulated by the Lama himself, and is awarded one of the coveted shiny chrome-decked motorcycles, a Chinese version of the Harley Davidson, that the nomads have recently shown preference for over horses.

During the celebration, the monks of Ganden Tubchen Chokhorling monastery have completed work on the sand mandala. It has become a multi-hued thing of beauty. Its purpose – to invite the deity Yamantanka and to help make the equestrian celebration a success – has been fulfilled, as there have been no deaths this year.

Lama Tense Taji is confident that Kham is witnessing a renaissance of Buddhist culture. So far, roughly 60 percent of the monasteries in eastern Tibet have been rebuilt, albeit under the watchful eye of the Chinese. The abbot has no illusions: "I doubt we'll see political independence for Kham or even Tibet as a whole." The monk sees his duty to be much more a religious calling than a political one: "It is my destiny to share the teachings of Buddha to younger generations for as long as I live. Kham's monasteries are reawakening," he says with delight.
Entry #6578
Rob2031
Rob2031
Καναδάς
Finalist
Voting points1st2nd3rd
325 x46 x20
Rating typeOverallQualityAccuracy
Entry3.263.38 (16 ratings)3.13 (15 ratings)
Entry tagging:
  • 6 users entered 15 "like" tags
  • 11 users agreed with "likes" (26 total agrees)
  • 1 user disagreed with "likes" (1 total disagree)
+2
vie for clandestine fame
Good term selection
Courtney Sliwinski
+1
only a hair's breadth
Good term selection
Alice Milne
+2
Like bees swarming around their queen
Flows well
Courtney Sliwinski
+1
The riders push their mounts to their limits over a three-kilometer course.
Flows well
Alice Milne
+1
push their mounts to their limits
Good term selection
although '​mounts' is​ an added ​lexical me​aning (hor​ses?)
Marcus Malabad
-1
+2
1
mounts
Good term selection
Susan Welsh
shiny chrome-decked
Good term selection
Alice Milne
+2
multi-hued thing of beauty
Good term selection
Alice Milne
+1
become a multi-hued thing of beauty
Good term selection
Courtney Sliwinski
+1
to help make the equestrian celebration a success
Flows well
"to help m​ake it a s​uccess" - ​simple and​ elegant
Marcus Malabad
+2
equestrian celebration
Good term selection
Courtney Sliwinski
witnessing
Good term selection
Alice Milne
+1
albeit under the watchful eye of the Chinese
Other
Flows well​ and very ​good choic​e of the w​ord "watch​ful"
Alice Milne
+5
albeit under the watchful eye
Flows well
Craig Meulen
+5
1
The abbot has no illusions
Flows well
Very nice ​phrasing h​ere.
Edwin Miles
The highlight however is the actual main race, ridden for the secret glory of the Khampa warriors and in honour of the monastery's Ganden Tubchen Chokhorling. The morning sees more than one hundred riders gathering in front of the abbey's walls. Red wool is used to interbraid long hair around the head. Some of them provoke the Chinese officials by conspicuously bearing the image of the XIVth Dalai Lama despite it being forbidden and letting their nervous horses prance closely past the eyes of the law. They circle the Lama Tense Taji riding in their midst like a swarm of bees would their queen, as if it were imperative to protect him against any hostility.

Not until he gives the signal does the race begin. Their horses are asked to give their all for three kilometres. Many a horse takes a tumble. Those having edged to the front row, stirrup to stirrup, are frenetically cheered on by the public lining the entire race track. The radiant winner is personally congratulated by the Lama and awarded one of the coveted sparkling chrome motorcycles, a kind of Harley Davidson of Chinese build, which has recently replaced the nomad's horse.

During the festival the monks of the Ganden Tubchen Chokhorling monastery have completed the sand mandala. It has turned out to be colourful and absolutely gorgeous. Its significance, to invite the godhead Yamantanka and to ensure a successful gymkhana, was fulfilled because there is no fatality to mourn this year.

Lama Tense Taji is confident that Kham is facing a renaissance of the Buddhist culture. Approximately 60 percent of Eastern Tibet's monasteries have so far been rebuilt, albeit under the stern eyes of the Chinese. The abbot however is clear minded: "I deem Kham's or even the whole of Tibet's political independence to be improbable." The monk feels less committed to politics than to religion. "I am called to pass Buddha's teachings down to the young for as long as I live. Kham's monasteries", the man happily says, "are awakening to new life."
Entry #8107
Finalist
Voting points1st2nd3rd
276 x41 x21 x1
Rating typeOverallQualityAccuracy
Entry3.483.31 (26 ratings)3.65 (23 ratings)
Entry tagging:
  • 7 users entered 9 "like" tags
  • 16 users agreed with "likes" (36 total agrees)
  • 3 users disagreed with "likes" (3 total disagrees)
+9
conspicuously
Good term selection
Susan Welsh
letting their nervous horses prance closely past the eyes
Flows well
precise re​ndition
Marcus Malabad
+4
1
riding in their midst like a swarm of bees would their queen
Good term selection
"like a sw​arm of bee​s would th​eir queen"
D.R.B.
-1
+5
1
as if it were imperative to protect him against any hostility
Good term selection
Courtney Sliwinski
+4
Not until he gives the signal does the race begin.
Good term selection
the only o​ne of the ​seven who ​got this p​hrase righ​t!
Patrick Hubenthal
-1
+10
1
Many a horse takes a tumble
Flows well
Rob2031
+2
1
stirrup to stirrup
Good term selection
provisiona​l ok, risk​y as sourc​e says 'sa​ddle'
Marcus Malabad
-1
+2
gymkhana
Good term selection
Nikolett Sarkany
are awakening to new life
Flows well
precise
Marcus Malabad
However the highlight is the actual main horse race, which is ridden in secret glory of the Khampa warriors and in honor of the Ganden Tubchen Chokhorling Monastery. In the morning, over one hundred riders gather before the walls of the abbey. Their long hair is braided, wrapped around their heads in red wool. Some of them provoke the Chinese authorities, prancing with their nervous horses directly in front of the marshals and visibly displaying the picture of the 14th Dalai Lama that they carry along with them, despite its prohibition. Like a swarm of bees surrounding its queen, they circle around the Lama Tense Taji riding in their midst as if trying to project him from enemies.

His signal marks the start of the race. Along a stretch of three kilometers, the riders demand maximum performance from their horses. There are mass falls. Those who have pushed to the front in a saddle to saddle battle are fanatically cheered on by the spectators along the lines of the entire race course. The beaming winner is personally congratulated by the Lama himself and receives as the prize one of the coveted, chrome-sparkling motorcycles – a type of Chinese version of a Harley Davidson, which has recently been replacing horses for the nomads.

During the festival, the monks of the Ganden Tubchen Chokhorling Monastery have completed the sand mandala, which has turned out colorful and magnificently beautiful. Its purpose of inviting the deity Yamantanka and leading the Horse Race Festival to success was fulfilled, for there were no deaths this year.

Lama Tense Taji is confident that Kham is awaiting a renaissance of Buddhist culture. So far around 60 percent of the monasteries in East Tibet have been rebuilt – albeit under the strict watch of the Chinese. The abbot has a clear mind: “I consider political independence for Kham or even all of Tibet unlikely.” The monk feels more obligated to religion than to politics: “I have been called to pass on the teachings of Buddha to younger generations for as long as I live. The Kham monasteries,” the man rejoices, “are coming back to life.”
Entry #6896
SpreeSarah
SpreeSarah
Ηνωμένες Πολιτείες Αμερικής
Finalist
Voting points1st2nd3rd
123 x400
Rating typeOverallQualityAccuracy
Entry3.052.85 (13 ratings)3.25 (12 ratings)
Entry tagging:
  • 3 users entered 4 "like" tags
  • 5 users agreed with "likes" (7 total agrees)
  • 1 user disagreed with "likes" (1 total disagree)
+3
His signal marks the start of the race.
Flows well
cmgrimm (X)
+1
in a saddle to saddle battle
Good term selection
suew
-1
+2
1
renaissance
Good term selection
cmgrimm (X)
+1
The monk feels more obligated to religion than to politics:
Other
succinct r​endition
Edwin Miles